I’m going pretty deep as I remind myself why I began my art journey in the first place.
I’ll start by saying my journey has not been an easy one. I have faced an incredible amount of adversity, especially these last few years. Rejection after disappointed put my desire and faith to the test. Last year specifically was the ultimate tipping point. The pandemic hit and affected every one of us in different ways. Like many people out there, I lost someone incredibly special. I was not prepared for how hard it would hit me. It took my already fragile mindset over the years and completely shattered it. I could feel myself scrambling to find a course of action to return to the path I began on. Everything I created felt like a futile attempt at a far off impossible achievement. What little focus I had was gone.
At this point I felt like giving up was an inevitability. When I did find the motivation to create something, it fell on blind eyes. I began focusing too much on becoming successful by any means that the art I made felt forced and lifeless. I’m not sure if I was actually depressed, but I felt like I was pretty close. I foresaw no end to all of this. An ongoing spiral of failure and letdowns that made me question my goals. Was my dream of being a successful artist nothing but a dream? Was I destined to fail?
What little focus I had was gone.
2021 began and I was about to break. Shortly after a talk with a good friend about all my troubles, I had an epiphany. I started thinking of my friend who had passed away and how he never gave up on himself. He faced adversity and never caved. And he would certainly never give up on me. He would slap me across my face and tell me I’m crazy for even contemplating giving up. I then went even further back and remembered my college graduation. It was the last major event my “Papou” saw. I remember seeing the pride in his eyes as I walked up to the stage to receive my degree. He believed in me too. By giving up, I would be letting them down just as much as myself. To do so would be desecrating their memory. I couldn’t do that, so I needed to take a deep look within myself and regain my true focus.
To become re-focused, I needed to remember my “Why?” Why did I start this journey? Why did I want to become an artist? I had to go back to when I was a kid watching all sorts of animated films and shows. The characters and stories they told inspired me and introduced worlds I could never imagine. I felt the joy and happiness they brought me and could see it in others. Video games entered my life and took that to the next level. I wanted to bring that feeling of joy to others as well. I wanted them to see my work and become inspired themselves. I needed to make sure all those who believed in me and had my back were proud of what I created.
I needed to take a deep look within myself and regain my true focus.
So what is defined as success? I became so fixated on financial success that I neglected to see that success comes in many forms. I started to focus on creating art for financial gain instead of for the pure joy of doing it. Success should be creating artwork that I am immensely proud of no matter what and makes people happy. Whether others choose to follow along or not doesn’t change this. That is why I became an artist. Keeping this in mind has helped me realign my focus on continuing to create great artwork for all to enjoy. It’s why I can’t give up. I can’t ever throw in the towel. The only thing I guarantee by doing that is ensuring failure completely, and that is not an option. I can’t do that to myself, to anyone who believed in me, or to anyone that my art has touched in some way. So I will keep drawing and creating to reach the peak of the mountain. It may take my whole life and I may never even make it, but I can never stop trying. That in itself is success.
Cowards never start. Weak never finish. Strong never quit.
The Art of David Stankowicz 